RedEye reporter Tracy Swartz fills in for Jimmy Greenfield. We’re warning you, play nice … Tracy.
Tracy Swartz
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Rahula Strohl
EvilSuperComputer
TOPIC 1: WHAT’S YOUR GAME-WATCHING STRATEGY FOR GAME 2 of the bulls vs. heat?
I put on Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.”
Eyes covered, head tucked down in the emergency crash position.
I’d like to settle in shortly before Shaq’s first jump-stop-that-doesn’t-get-called/charging foul.
Light the incense in front of my Michael Jordan cardboard cutout rather than Ganesha.
I’ll just change into a high-definition flat screen. Evil Super Computer … TRANSFORM!
TOPIC 2: what celebrity would you choose to represent las vegas’ bid for an nba team?
Trishelle from “The Real World: Las Vegas.”
Celine Dion does the “Titanic” pose with Commissioner David Stern as they sing “My Heart Will Go On.”
Kevin Federline. No, wait. I thought you said “permanent resident.”
Marge Simpson.
There’s a slot machine at the Palms that would be perfect. What a hottie!
TOPIC 3: who should be the odd man out in the cubs’ outfield?
Sam Zell.
If “odd” is the criteria, shouldn’t Lou Piniella be an option?
Sorry, Matt Murton. Not a good sign when you have a couple of more RBIs than Phil.
You’d think the infielders wouldn’t be in the running, wouldn’t you?
Cliff Floyd’s got as much left in him as a 3-year-old iPod. Let him pinch hit.
TOPIC 4: anyone here have character issues that will keep him from getting drafted?
Years of playing flip-cup has taken a toll on Leo’s hand-eye coordination.
Rahula has issues with the hands-off policy during lap dances. If his clients obey that rule, he can too.
I made it rain once. Unfortunately, there was no money involved.
There was that setback with the puma and the jar of cocktail onions …
I admit it, NFL: I am ssssssmokin’! Now where’s that slot machine …
TOPIC 5: floyd landis’ backup samples tested positive. what’s next for him?
“The Surreal Life.”
He can stage groin-slamming bicycle accidents on “Whacked Out Sports.”
A spot on Jose Canseco’s traveling softball team.
Pro wrestling.
Sorry, no cheaters. My drone army must be pure!
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