1. Taking off
Reports indicate that Larry Birkhead is finally set to leave the Bahamas with a huge bundle of money — er, his daughter.
2. Big shoes to fill
Roseanne says she’s “not looking for the job” to replace Rosie O’Donnell on “The View.” Mostly she’s worried it would take a while to make enemies of 85 percent of the world’s population.
3. Just a taste
Big news: John Mayer is the big name attached to this year’s Taste of Chicago. And along with Mayer performing, there’s a chance we’ll get to see Jessica Simpson not eating anything.
4. Madness
“Spider-Man 3” villain Thomas Haden Church’s next career move is an obvious one.
5. Bummer
Meat Loaf is set to perform Tuesday night on the “Dancing With the Stars” results show. What makes this a little less intriguing is that it’s the ’70s singer and not the dinner.
6. The creator
50 Cent says he’s collaborating with a wider range of people on his next album because he’s at the point in his career “where I can go off and create with other artists.” And by “create” he means “mumble about strip clubs and money.”
7. Recount!
I have to express disappointment that the changing colors of Mayor Daley’s face didn’t make the list of the “Seven Wonders of Illinois.”
8. High drama
Ellen DeGeneres plans to host her show from a hospital bed because of a bad back. However, she has wisely decided against changing the show’s name to “Ellen’s Anatomy.”
9. Nice move
The U.S. government wants to sell embassies in several foreign countries. Can’t you just picture people knocking each other over to buy those houses? “For sale by owner: Beautiful, stately residences. Security is a slight concern …”
The 10th line is online
Log on to redeyechicago.com/leo and finish this joke: “Now that Rage Against the Machine is back together, the next big ’90s reunion will be …”
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
