1. Can’t help it
It was hard for me to get caught up in the “Spider-Man 3” hype this weekend. I don’t know — any time I hear about alien symbiotes and vicious brawls I think of “The View.”
2. Lip service
I’m reading that Lindsay Lohan attended one of Britney’s comeback concerts. Cause for alarm, yes, but it’s not entirely bad if Lindsay is influenced by someone who — rumor has it — doesn’t sing live.
3. Market price
Bids — serious or not — reached nearly $10 million for the car from “The Dukes of Hazzard.” I can only assume this means the van from “The A-Team” is valued somewhere in the 15 digits.
4. Pale force
You’d think Cameron Diaz could afford a better-looking escort, or at least one with a tan.
5. See ya
There’s no question the Dalai Lama’s visit has rubbed off on Chicago. I’m seriously considering meditation and possibly self-imposed exile before the next “American Idol.”
6. You’re purdy
The CW is developing a reality show that takes city women out to the country and fixes them up with a rural bachelor. You’ll be able to tell which one he likes by counting the tobacco juice stains on her outfit.
7. Sounds familiar
Apparently women on the show (tentative title: “Farmer Wants A Wife”) would be judged on things like caring for farm animals and driving tractors. OK, are we sure these women aren’t being sent to Michael Jackson’s house?
8. Drastic measures
Nationwide, gas prices have swelled to a record high. Drivers are so desperate they’re carpooling with Billy Joel.
9. Hard time
The world has one pressing question about Paris Hilton’s upcoming stay in prison: When can we expect her new line of scented license plates?
The 10th line is online
Friday’s setup: “Eliminating two singers from ‘American Idol’ is like …” “crying from both eyes instead of just one at a time.” — Steve. Can you top it? Go to redeyechicago.com/leo.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
