1. Mouthing off
Now that Simon Cowell’s lips have been described as “soft and thin,” we await the first description of Paula’s lips. My guess is “rubbery and flappy.” 2. Stay safe
The Miss Universe competition kicks off in a little more than two weeks. Until then, the contestants will remain in a holding cell, protected from the cast of “Entourage.”
3. Second thoughts
Lots of films out this weekend. Normally I’d be excited for a thriller about flesh-eating zombies, but reviews for this new Lindsay Lohan-Jane Fonda movie are mixed.
4. Taste police
This Paris Hilton sculpture is disgusting and indecent. I mean, two Chihuahua’s butts so close to one another?
5. Stuff of legend
Big shock: A nearly $10 million dollar bid for the car from “The Dukes of Hazzard” turned out to be a fake. In other news, the Tooth Fairy isn’t real.
6. Cruelty to actors
Laurence Fishburne and Cole Hauser are set to co-star in a new movie called “Tortured.” They’ll play two men forced to listen to Maroon 5 for hours on end.
7. Rescue mission
Is it too much to hope that the first season of “Heroes” ends with the good guys stopping this “National Bingo Night” from ever making it on the air?
8. Options
One of Britney Spears’ backup dancers said Britney’s shaved head “looks so good she should model.” … Orrrrrr start up an R.E.M. cover band.
9. Get shorty
Eddie Murphy will star in a “Fantasy Island” movie. Ryan Seacrest co-stars as Tattoo.
The 10th line is online
Thursday’s setup: “Kissing your ex in front of a group of paparazzi is like …” “waving a red flag in front of a bull.”
— Paul Lockwood
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lebersole@tribune.com
