Wow, this is easy, just like riding a bike. Once you learn how, you never forget.
I’m speaking, of course, about hating the Pistons. I haven’t really had the need, or the desire, to do so since 1991, when we finally swept them.
So that’s a lifetime ago. I’d like to say I’ve grown a lot since then, but I haven’t.
Instead, I’m jumping right back in.
Flip Saunders? Can’t stand him. His name’s Flip. You can’t like that.
Chris Webber? Sorry. Ever since he called that timeout that Michigan didn’t have, I’ve hated him, too.
Richard Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince — enough already.
Yes, I loathe them all, although there’s no one on this team that comes close to being as hated as Isaiah Thomas and Bill Laimbeer. I’d mention others on those Bad Boy teams, but most of them ended up playing for the Bulls. You’re safe with me, John Salley, Dennis Rodman and James Edwards.
Enough of the past.
Let’s talk here and now. As predictable as the playing of Rick James’ “Super Freak” at a poorly planned wedding, the Bulls look overmatched right now.
There are some things we can do, however.
Guys, the cameras are on you all the time. So, please, let’s wipe that look off our faces that says, “I wish I was still in college.” Please. It’s embarrassing. Especially you, Kirk Hinrich. Quit rubbing your eyes and burying your head in your hands. You look like you’re in the middle of a hangover.
Also, Ben Wallace shouldn’t be our best scorer. Also, they’re called “open looks.”
Somebody step up and take them. Or go home.
Speaking of home, the Cubs do well here. Hey, all you knuckleheads, relax. If you’re going crazy because the Cubs are kind of in the hunt, just remember you’re only in it because you’re playing the Pirates and Nationals. The Nationals shouldn’t even count because I can’t name any of their players. The same goes for Pittsburgh, although I should get to know their best players for when they’re traded to the Cubs.
Hey, it’s mini-camp time. I’m sure I’m the only one who noticed Chris Leak signed with the Bears. It must be all the success we’ve had with undersized Florida QBs.
Hey, any QB rating better than 1.3 works for me.
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redeyesports@tribune.com
