Mike North of “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) sits in Wednesdays. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive. And don’t forget Stick Figure at redeyechicago.com/gofigure.
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Mike North
Stick Figure
TOPIC 1: WHAT WAS YOUR PREGAME SPEECH TO THE BULLS?
It began, “Four scores and seven turnovers ago …”
“Ask not what your city will do to you, ask what you are doing to your city.”
“Gentlemen, let’s have a clean game: Only two groin punches per half.”
“Who’s got a rosary?”
“This little piggy went to market! This little piggy stayed home …”
TOPIC 2: WHY ARE THE NBA PLAYOFFS GETTING SO PHYSICAL?
I think it started when Rasheed Wallace married Olivia Newton-John.
Prolonged exposure to Charles “Cheap Shot” Barkley.
It’s groupie mating season. Not much you can do about nature.
Because the playoffs are the real season.
Maybe they’re playing the slapping game. Ouch! When is it EVER my turn, Jimmy?
TOPIC 3: BESIDES DEVIN HESTER, IS THERE ANYBODY ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SEE SWITCH SIDES?
Portia De Rossi.
Mike North. … He could be Mike South for a while. What’d you think I meant?
(Insert Mike Piazza joke here.)
Elton John.
The bright side. I get tired of looking there all the time.
TOPIC 4: HOW SHOULD DIRK NOWITZKI FEEL ABOUT WINNING THE NBA MVP TROPHY?
Absolutely wonderful and sick to his stomach.
Don’t worry, he’ll probably lose it in the first round.
Fantastic … until he realizes it isn’t a gold-plated schnitzel fryer.
He should shed tears for the homeland.
Dirt Lewinsky?
TOPIC 5: WHAT SHOULD BE A PRIZE AT THE ROCK PAPER SCISSORS TOURNAMENT?
A trip to Las Vegas with the Cubs or Sox hand.
A life.
You win a spot in the Bush administration’s cabinet. No, seriously.
That game is over my head.
I can do rock. I can do paper. Can’t do scissors. Sigh.
