Mike North of “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) sits in Wednesdays. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive. And don’t forget Stick Figure at redeyechicago.com/gofigure.
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Mike North
Bag Boy
TOPIC 1: Anything about Mike North you want to get off your chest?
Mike North is a small, black woman. Looks can be so deceiving.
Some 1920s mobster called and wanted his voice back.
Soxman was looking for you. He mentioned something about “getting medieval” on you.
He’s a moron!
Geez, North! Next time Ozzie Guillen curses you, have him write it and autograph it to me!
TOPIC 2: How would you prevent someone from cursing at you on the radio?
By giving a guest a huge spoonful of peanut butter prior to speaking.
Take the computer chip that controls the 7-second delay and surgically implant it in Ozzie.
I’d make clear that the only words that hurt me are “Dallas” and “The Matrix Revolutions.”
Be agreeable?
Press a key that forwards them to Howard Stern.
TOPIC 3: Who else needs a lottery besides the NBA?
WSCR, so they’ll have money to pay upcoming FCC fines.
I know who needs to win a lottery: the CTA.
The Cubs’ third outfield spot. Might as well.
Score producers — and they need to win!
Change “lottery” to “battery” and you’ve got yourself a deal, Cincinnati Bengals!
TOPIC 4: Dallas is getting a Super Bowl. Your thoughts?
Once again, I cast my vote for Cicero.
Well that settles it. Satan’s absolutely buying those season tickets now!
I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE THAT LANGUAGE! HAVE A LITTLE RESPECT!
Should be fun — Bears vs. who?
Dallas … Dallas … Oh, yeah, I think I had a layover at a place called Dallas/Ft. Worthless.
TOPIC 5: Who would be better at the other’s job: Dan Patrick or Danica Patrick?
Dan Patrick, if only because he already owns a sports bra.
Danica Patrick, if she can vividly and accurately describe how she ran over Dan Patrick.
I have it on good authority that Dan Patrick’s hair actually doubles as a racing helmet.
Dan Patrick. He might win a race.
Well if the job is only 2 percent racing and 98 percent posing for magazines — easy win for Dan.
