1. Video vixen
Apparently there’s a “Jackass” video game on the way. So … do you get to play as Lindsay Lohan or is she, like, a secondary character?
2. Ding!
There are tough jobs in life — jobs that run you into the ground — and then there’s being Lindsay Lohan’s Mercedes. At this point it’s so damaged it’s auditioning for walk-on roles on “The Sopranos” finale.
3. Over and out
Fascinating things, these cicadas. They come out, make a lot of noise, mate and then you don’t hear from them for 17 years. They’re a lot like Kevin Federline.
4. Hold it
Shrek comes to the sad realization that his talent for passing gas will go unappreciated tonight.
5. It’s time
Starwars.com relaunched Friday. New features include advice on dressing somewhat normally and controlling your longings for Princess Leia.
6. Destiny’s man-child
Last week came the big announcement that a new “He-Man” is being made. I mean, are auditions even necessary or should producers just show up with a check at Will Ferrell’s house?
7. Pitching in
Some people get down the day after Memorial Day, but I think we all can walk with a spring in our step knowing we did our part to control Earth’s grilled food population.
8. Keep it clean
Rosie O’Donnell says she may never speak to “The View’s” Elisabeth Hasselbeck again, a tough break for their friendship but terrific news for the anti-air pollution set.
9. Rough night
In international news, a man in Israel wrestled an intruding leopard to the ground wearing nothing but his underwear and a T-shirt. An amazing feat, yes, but nothing Hugh Hefner hasn’t used as an icebreaker at one of his parties.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
