1. Water bull
My water tasted funny today, so I can’t be blamed for what I say here.
2. Don’t do it
But LiLo, I suggest staying away from the I-was-drugged excuse that George Foreman used.
3. La-La Land
L.A. Lakers owner Jerry Buss, 74, was arrested on DUI charges. It’s a coincidence, I’m sure, but could he be hanging with LiLo?
4. Armor isn’t enough
As Barry Bonds approaches baseball’s home-run record, his security has been beefed up. Figures. Everything with this guy has been beefed up.
5. Homer happy
Some projections have Bonds breaking the record at Wrigley Field during a series July 16-19. I’m betting no one’s throwing that ball back.
6. Sam I am
It’s scary, but Sammy Sosa’s gonna be the next Bonds. He’s closing in on 600 home runs and says he wants 700. Et tu, Sammy?
7. A.J. A-OK
A.J. Pierzynski’s did-he-or-didn’t-he spike of Justin Morneau is all cleared up. Until next time. With A.J., there’s always a next time.
8. Bad deal
Sure, the Cubs aren’t in first place, but it warms my heart to see the St. Louis Cardinals just a few games out of last place.
9. Now that’s fast
Asafa Powell ran the 100 meters in a world-record 9.97 seconds. That shoots down my theory that four legs are better than two.
FIVE THINGS …
… ways Barry Bonds can protecthimself from fans.
— Carry bat at all times
— A suit of armor
— A trade to the Cuba,a.k.a the black hole
— Play games at 3 a.m.
— Retire
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REDEYESPORTS@TRIBUNE.COM
