1. Rare gems
A British man claims to have caught the fabled Loch Ness monster on video. Guess we can put that in the archives along with footage of Paula Abdul speaking in complete sentences.
2. The horror
Nicole Richie says she’s nervous about going to jail. She heard a rumor that inmates get regular meals.
3. Conservation-minded
Universal Studios plans to open a Harry Potter theme park. And when the books and movies become old news, park officials have agreed to convert it into a dork sanctuary.
4. To the point
… and when it’s not singing for Maroon 5, Adam Levine’s head doubles as a pencil eraser.
5. Stretched thin
Four days until Paris Hilton is supposed to report to prison. With so much pressure on the hotel heiress, the timing couldn’t be worse to televise a national spelling bee.
6. One-two punch
ABC followed up the spelling bee broadcast with an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy.” In other news, a record number of retainer-wearing middle schoolers hit puberty last night.
7. Welcome to obscurity
This just in: David Beckham may have forfeited his eligibility for knighthood by moving to play soccer in the U.S. He may also have forfeited the privilege of having anyone pay attention to him.
8. Family time
Beyonce says she wants kids in 10 years, though child welfare advocates are hopeful she’ll reconsider and adopt Rosie O’Donnell soon.
9. Not just anyone
The tabloids have linked Jennifer Aniston to a new mystery man. Oh, the intrigue. It could be anyone. … Well, anyone but Screech.
The 10th line is online
Friday’s setup: “The tagline for ‘Ocean’s 13’ should be …” Take your shot: redeyechicago.com/leo
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lebersole@tribune.com
