Walking on Eggshells
Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
By Jane Isay (Doubleday, $23.95)
Even the most loving parent-child relationship can be strained when the younger generation reaches adulthood. Respecting boundaries is critical, but those boundaries shift during different stages of life. Isay employs interviews with families to cut a path for all to follow.
1. When adult children make decisions their parents don’t agree with, communicating that displeasure is tricky. “We’re at a loss to communicate our reservations, worries and concerns … because the response we get often isn’t pretty.”
2. “The issue of money crossing generations is becoming more loaded these days, because [parents face] the prospect of living longer and having less to live on.”
3. Close friendships offer a good template for dealing with adult children in terms of offering guidance but respecting personal decisions.
4. Communication can be interpreted differently by both sides. “Grown children have a hard time telling the difference between an innocent remark and parental control.”
5. Once siblings are grown, parents should accept that they have very little control over how they interact.
