Rahula Strohl of chicagosports.com doesn’t have any feuds with anyone. They’re pretty easy to avoid when no one talks to you. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Rahula Strohl
Bag Boy
TOPIC 1: HOW WOULD YOU RETALIATE AGAINST A CHEAP SHOT?
With love. And a stiff forearm to the windpipe.
I’d take your picture, make a mask out of it, then sock Carlos Zambrano in the nose.
I’d send Joey Porter a detailed list of instructions and a boatload of money.
Fetal position and try not to whimper audibly.
Another cheap shot. Is there any other kind of shot?
TOPIC 2: WHAT DOES THE TYPICAL SPURS FAN LOOK LIKE?
There’s a tattoo of Tim Duncan right below her gullet.
A lot like Rahula, give or take a chromosome.
He’s the same size as the Alamo, only covered with steak and barbecue sauce.
Bored out of his or her skull. Either that or Eva Longoria.
He incorporates Spurs colors into his clothing: black sandals and white socks. Dork.
TOPIC 3: WHY DID SOMEONE CONFUSE PHIL WITH JIMMY THIS WEEKEND?
Hey, even Phil’s girlfriend should be allowed to dream.
Don’t buy it, folks. That was just Jimmy’s wife practicing her excuse.
Clearly this person picked up the smell before Phil came into view.
Alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.
Well, maybe it’s because they both look like Spurs fans.
TOPIC 4: WOULD YOU EVER CRITICIZE MIKE DITKA?
Hell yeah. Just not to his face, as an homage to my idol, Jay Mariotti.
I told him he can get a little loud sometimes, then he plugged my ears with his fists.
Only for serving the best damn “Bear Cheese” in the supermarket.
Only if I was sure I’d never be in the same room with him ever.
Are. You. Kidding. Me. MISTER?!?
TOPIC 5: STANLEY CUP. POOR RATINGS. NBA FINALS. POOR RATINGS. WHAT’S GOING ON?
Two words: basket weaving.
When’s the last time either has been to rehab? Duh.
The nation wants to follow real sports, like ultimate fighting and Paris Hilton-watching.
Crap in, crap out.
Isn’t it obvious? No Chicago teams as comic relief.
