There have been worse times in Chicago baseball. If you’re of a certain age, say 100 or younger, you know this to be true.
In the past, the White Sox and the Cubs often were nice enough to synchronize their wretchedness, apparently with the idea that fan bases that wallowed together were less likely to knock the snot out of each other.
But it’s hard to remember so many high expectations followed by so much dissatisfaction on both sides of town. Please don’t call or e-mail to remind me of other bad years. Leave me to my oblivion.
What we have on our hands are two underachieving ball clubs getting ready to face each other in a three-game series at The Cell. If that doesn’t scream “sellout,” I don’t know what does.
The truth is that if the Cubs and Sox played each other in Scrabble, it would be standing room only. (The highest-scoring word for the Sox would be “whiffed,” for the Cubs “punched.”) So the atmosphere will be, if not electric, at least malted and carbonated.
There’s no escaping that both teams are painful to watch, nor that both teams should be so much better than they are. It’s why the two franchises seem paralyzed right now. The instinct is to blow up the Sox and start over. Actually, the instinct is to just blow up the Sox. This is not only a below-average team, it’s a dead team.
But there’s a huge “what-if” factor involved. Forget the woeful bullpen. It is, to use general manager Ken Williams’ favorite phrase, what it is. In other words, not very good. What if the Sox start hitting like they should? If you go through their batting order, you will see that, except for Jim Thome, all the veteran regulars are hitting at least 26 points below their career average. If you’re a glutton for punishment: Alex Cintron (67 points below), Jermaine Dye (45), Paul Konerko (37), Tadahito Iguchi (37), Juan Uribe (37), A.J. Pierzynski (37) and Rob Mackowiak (26). Several players would have career-worst batting averages if the season ended today.
Are the Sox going to snap out of it and make a playoff run or does this just happen to be the year when they win the team diving competition?
Williams has said he doesn’t understand it, can’t figure it out. It’s not a very satisfying analysis from the GM of a major-league team, but it’s the perfect one. What the Sox are doing makes absolutely no sense. One or two players slumping, yes. A team-wide hitting slump, no, unless there has been an outbreak of chronic fatigue syndrome the Sox are hiding.
So what to do?
Stick with them for the time being, keeping a stethoscope nearby for signs of life. If the team doesn’t show a pulse soon, make some trades. Start over. Build for next year. If this season is free falling in July and if Sox chairman Jerry Reinsdorf doesn’t do anything about it, he should be checked for signs of intelligent life.
With the Cubs, it’s a little more clear-cut, though not a whole lot more palatable, if you like your baseball, you know, above average. The National League Central division is a bad joke. You can’t be a seller in the trade market when you and the competition comprise a slapstick routine.
The carrot on the end of the stick is a shot at mediocrity. What excitement! In a strange way, the Cubs, with a chance at a division title, might be in a worse position than the Sox, who look dead in the water. At least the Sox can wave a white flag (sorry) and look ahead. The Cubs are stuck with a few shards of hope.
It hasn’t been an easy first three months for manager Lou Piniella. The Cubs have been in the headlines for most everything but good play — fights, ejections, fines, suspensions and a trade. The other night, a guy the Cubs let go a few years ago faced them and hit the 600th home run of his storied career. Shift a few letters in “storied” and you get “steroid.” Just saying.
Is it asking too much for the Cubs to do something on the field that could possibly be construed as positive? Again, just asking.
With few exceptions, the Cubs and the Sox say they don’t care much about the crosstown series. The fans love it, but after what they have gone through so far this season, even they have to know there won’t be much nutritional value in taking this series.
People on both sides of town already are thinking about what-might-have-been even with a could-be staring them in the face. It looks a lot like despair. Hello, old friend.
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rmorrissey@tribune.com
