Mike North from “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) joins us Wednesdays. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Mike North
Bag Boy
TOPIC 1: WHY DO FANS THROW GARBAGE ON THE FIELD?
Fans are idiots. Don’t worry, I don’t mean you. The other fans.
Are we sure we’re not mistaking it for Jacque Jones?
Because Britney Spears is too heavy. Good night, everybody.
Because that’s the only way a part of them can get on the field.
Sometimes heckling requires visual aids.
TOPIC 2: WHAT SPORTS STORY ARE YOU SICK OF HEARING ABOUT?
A story I’m so sick of I won’t even write about it.
I think Barry Bonds is sick of himself by now.
Greg Oden Summer League updates. Give the old-man-
looking guy a break.
Soccer + Beckham = irrelevant
The Sox need to turn it around. News flash: Sinking ships go only one way — and that’s down!
TOPIC 3: IF DAVID BECKHAM CAN’T PLAY, HOW WILL OUR NATION REACT?
The exact same way as if he
can play.
We may actually have to spend a day reading about politics and the economy and stuff.
The millions ready to embrace soccer as their favorite sport of all time somehow will soldier on.
I got the first round.
A national disaster will be averted — paying attention to soccer!
TOPIC 4: IF THE CUBS CAN AUCTION OFF A URINAL, WHAT ELSE SHOULD BE UP FOR BID?
Jay Mariotti’s columns.
I don’t know, but I do know that urinal will get some serious
bidding from Moises Alou.
The Blackhawks. Jimmy programmed me to say that.
Wrigley.
Prince Fielder’s “throne.”
TOPIC 5: WHAT MAKES THE BRITISH OPEN DIFFERENT FROM OTHER MAJORS?
It’s the only one that uses
the DH.
John Daly is considered a
lightweight boozer by UK
standards.
If your ball knocks out a
spectator’s teeth, you’re
actually doing him a favor.
It’s out of town?
It thinks it’s SMARTER than the other majors. Snobby old golf tournament!
