1. The parted
A judge finalized Britney Spears’ divorce from Kevin Federline. Apparently the fight for custody of the deep fryer wasn’t as nasty as expected.
2. Hot zone
Predictably, news that Britney is available again was followed by news that marriage-minded bachelors had staked out every gas station bathroom in Southern California.
3. First steps
San Diego held “American Idol” auditions on Monday. Somewhere, a poofy-haired little girl is on her way to becoming the next Sanjaya Malakar.
4. Eye-opener
Looks like we caught Andy Samberg in the middle of a flashback to the groin abuse he suffered while making “Hot Rod.”
5. Creative differences
Lil’ Jon announced the guest list for his next album, “Crunk Rock.” In a shocker, Celine Dion didn’t make the cut.
6. Chances are
Lots of rumors swirling about why Usher’s wedding was called off. My theory: Somebody hired Lindsay Lohan to chauffeur the limo.
7. Going down
The producer of Lohan’s next movie called her legal troubles “a complication” for the film. Right. The same way hitting the iceberg complicated things for the Titanic.
8. Mega merger
Arby’s is exploring buying Wendy’s, news sure to shake the popcorn chicken markets to their core.
9. Slightly stupid
Wanted to correct a mistake from Monday: Brandon Flowers had a baby boy, not a girl. My brain needs to quit hanging around “The Hills” cast.
The 10th line is online
The 10th line has returned. Go to redeyechicago.com/leo and finish this setup: “A world without ‘The Simple Life’ is …”
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lebersole@tribune.com
