1. The long goodbye
Congrats, Barry, on the record. Now, let’s talk about your retirement.
2. No, seriously
I mean it. For the sake of baseball, call it a career. Pretty please.
3. Next
A-Rod, stay healthy, and we’ll be glad to have you break Barry’s record. How’s 2012 sound?
4. He’s got the beat
Fan Matt Murphy caught Bonds’ home-run ball, and he emerged from the crowd bloodied. Baseball — the American pastime.
5. Dog days of summer
Chicago is sweating all right, and not just because the Cubs are tanking.
6. Cubs and Sox and Bears, oh my
It’s the time of year Chicago sports fans dream of. Or is that a nightmare?
7. Bunt or punt?
I’ve got a four-step plan to keep track of the weekend’s sports action. Unfortunately, I only have one TV.
8. 1, 2, 3, 4 …
The Cubs have lost four straight. Yes, we have a problem. It’s Houston.
9. Patter up
So, now Corey Patterson’s brother, Eric, is a Cub. Eric, a word of advice. Practice your bunting.
Five WAYS …
… to honor Barry Bonds.
– Rub mystery substances on your body
– Testify before a grand jury
– Don’t smile — ever
– Don’t hate the player, hate the game. On second thought, hate the player.
– Blame the media — no, wait …
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REDEYESPORTS@TRIBUNE.COM
