Hey there, beautiful people. Tab Tanner here to talk about a troubling trend in Hollywood: the de-gorg-ification of our gorgeous stars!
What’s with all the A-Listers drabbing it down for the big screen?
What, if I may quote our poet laureate, Fergie, ever happened to the glamorous?
Everyone’s going all Charlize-Theron-in-“Monster” on me, and it’s making me sad — so sad I’m actually considering watching “Ocean’s 13.” (Just kidding, Clooney, baby. You know I saw it opening night after getting tossed out of the sneak preview for that bogus ticket that I probably should stop talking about in case the FBI is reading this.)
Trend or travesty? You be the judge.
MICHELLE PFEIFFER
Stars in “Stardust”
Tab: I will now go to my room, have a good cry and burn all of my celebrity magazines from 1992.
JOHNNY DEPP
Stars in the upcoming “Sweeney Todd.”
Tab: My first ex-wife spent about an hour on hair and makeup for our court date. My third spent about three hours. I feel like there’s a parallel here to Johnny and his movie roles.
TOM CRUISE
Stars in the upcoming “Valkyrie.”
Tab: Who told him to wear the eye patch, 1970s David Bowie? (And yes, that’s a “Flight of the Conchords” reference. Old Tabby knows what the kids are watching these days.)
EMMA THOMPSON
Stars in “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.”
Tab: While I appreciate the “sexy librarian” look as much as the next man, I can’t get past the swimming goggles.
JOHN TRAVOLTA
Stars in “Hairspray.”
Tab: Actually, I kind of like this look for him.
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REDEYEEDITOR@TRIBUNE.COM
