The Evil Super Computer and RedEye reporter Tracy Swartz join us. We don’t know which one is more wired. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Tracy Swartz
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Adam Caldarelli
EvilSuperComputer
TOPIC 1: IS IT GOOD OR BAD WHEN TEAMMATES FIGHT?
Good. Hooray for makeup sex!
Teams like the Cubs and Bears are used to beating themselves, so why not?
It depends. When Phil and Adam pillow fight, it can get a little awkward.
It’s good. Just ask the Cubs. Oh, wait …
If it involves Misty May-Treanor, Kerri Walsh and feather pillows, it’s all good.
TOPIC 2: WHO IS PRINCE NAWAF FAISAL FAHD ABDUL AZIZ?
I drank that shot last weekend.
He’s either voting for Chicago’s Olympic bid or he’s buying Chicago. Maybe both.
That’s actually my real name. “Leo Ebersole” is just something I saw in a catalog once.
Some guy Mayor Daley put on the Streets and San payroll in exchange for his Olympic vote.
I anagrammed the prince’s name and got “Alas! Aha! Fizz if bad and awful.”
TOPIC 3: IS THERE ANYTHING OR ANYONE IN CHICAGO SPORTS THAT DESERVES A RECALL?
Yeah, I’ll recall Jo Noah and see if he answers.
Kerry Wood. Don’t worry about each part, just ship the whole thing.
Just got a fax from Jimmy Greenfield. It reads, “Bill Wirtz.”
The 2007 White Sox.
Tank Johnson’s brain. I’m pretty sure it has lead in it.
TOPIC 4: WHAT’S NEXT FOR TIM DONAGHY?
Soap on a rope and Old Navy flip-flops for the shower.
I’ve give you one guess. He’s a ref, so he should be comfortable wearing stripes all day.
He changes his name and moves in next to Tony and Carmela Wasserstein in Arizona.
Victim of many reach-in “fouls” in the joint.
There’s a dogfighting ring that suddenly has an opening. HAHAHAHA!
TOPIC 5: ARE YOU READY TO STRIKE A PLEA DEAL FOR ANYTHING?
When I cook, I sing “It’sbusiness thyme.”
I plead the Fif: It was I who leaked 50 Cent’s video.
(Leaving blank so Evil Super Computer has extra space.)
Never.
No plea deal … BUT I AM READY TO STRIKE!
