1. Walk tall
If you’re new in town, don’t be alarmed by the noise this weekend. Those are jets flying overhead, and to my knowledge, none of them are being piloted by Billy Joel.
2. On hold
Apparently today is the first day of National Nanny Week. Thankfully, Jude Law has been locked into a Hannibal Lecter restraint.
3. Soldiering on
The CD is 25 years old today. It has survived Napster, iTunes and repeated attempts on its life by the Backstreet Boys.
4. Option B
You’ll notice a new photo with the column today. We chose that one over this photo of me shortly after waking up yesterday.
5. Survivor
Jenna Bush is engaged, the White House announced. She finally found a suitor who could pass Dick Cheney’s shotgun test.
6. Fashion victim
Victoria Beckham plans to write a new book offering fashion advice. The publisher’s title: “That Extra Half an Inch: Heels, Hair and Everything in Between.” Our suggested title: “Do Not Try This At Home.”
7. Don’t speak
Britney Spears appears topless in the new issue of Allure magazine, but readers don’t get to hear her thoughts on anything because she declined to be interviewed. This, to me, sums up Britney Spears’ entire career.
8. Easy there
The movie studio co-owned by Tom Cruise just announced it has received $500 million in financing. Now comes the part where someone has to talk Tom out of blowing it all on “Vanilla Sky 2.”
9. Your move
Amy Winehouse has canceled all of her August shows for health reasons, pulling her slightly ahead of Lily Allen in the heated race for “Britain’s Most Damaged Pop Singer.”
———-
lebersole@tribune.com
