Mike North from “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) joins us Wednesdays. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Mike North
Bag Boy
TOPIC 1: WHAT IS MICHAEL VICK DOING THREE SEASONS FROM NOW?
Managing his own dog-walking business. Are we sure we’re not mistaking it for Jacque Jones?
Playing for the Cleveland Browns, ironically the home of the Dawg Pound.
Throwing perfect spirals to a guy named “Tiny.”
Canada … bye-bye.
Violating parole to make himself more attractive to the Raiders.
TOPIC 2: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU RAN INTO A BREWERS FAN ON THE STREET?
Quickly ask him how I could get the hell out of Milwaukee.
I’d probably mistake his handshake for a pack of sausages.
If I ran into a Brewers fan’s beer belly? Probably ricochet into a store window.
Scream, ’cause that would mean I’m probably in Milwaukee.
Back up the car and run into him again!
TOPIC 3: WHAT WOULD YOU DO ABOUT REX GROSSMAN?
Bench him. Play Griese. Accept NFC Coach of the Year honors.
The Bears snap directly to Cedric Benson and Grossman gets to um, “supervise.”
Shock therapy is on the table. In fact, screw it, we’re going straight to “Golden Girls” therapy.
Hands transplant.
He gets one more shot, and then I’m putting in Oprah.
TOPIC 4: BESIDES REX, WHAT BEAR WILL YOU BE WATCHING SATURDAY?
Devin Hester. He is the most watchable Bear since Walter.
Cedric Benson, because I’ll never have to look far past the line of scrimmage.
Cedric Benson … steadily sliding down the fantasy draft board.
Oh that’s easy — Rex!
Yogi, or some other Saturday morning cartoon bear. I can’t even look at my Bears right now!
TOPIC 5: THE ORANGE BOWL WITHOUT THE MIAMI HURRICANES IS LIKE …
… an open sore without its parasitic guest.
… hell without any Miami Hurricanes.
… a penitentiary without the inmates.
… a toilet without … oh, never mind.
… my room without an air freshener. You think it can’t get any worse, but it can.
