1. Holding out
Jay-Z said he and Beyonce will marry “one day soon.” Translation: “I’ve got a bet going with Brad Pitt.”
2. Highly intelligent
Apparently the U.S. intelligence community is creating a Facebook-like networking site for spies. Americans can sleep soundly knowing their operatives are posting pictures of themselves getting drunk at dorm parties.
3. Smooth operator
So George Clooney’s dating a former contestant from “Fear Factor.” What ice breaker did he use on her, “Do I detect a hint of pig intestines on your breath?”
4. No torch?
Is that Keira Knightley or has the Statue of Liberty dropped a dangerous amount of weight?
5. First class
I saw on TV that the tuition for Maddox Jolie-Pitt’s private school is around $18,000 a year. I only assume the crayons they let the kids eat are infused with truffles.
6. Duly noted
On the one hand you’ve got media screaming about Britney Spears’ lack of self-discipline. On the other, anything short of her giving birth on stage at the MTV VMAs will be considered a disappointment. The point is, people are stupid.
7. For shame
I’m sorry, NBC, but calling a show “Chuck” and not including Chuck Norris isn’t just false advertising. It’s sacrilege.
8. Heavy drama
School officials plan to put on a stage version of “High School Musical” in the Utah high school where parts of the Disney movie were filmed. Really, is it wise to depress drama students like that?
9. To each her own
Lindsay Lohan’s father has visited her in rehab. True, he would have preferred the familiarity of a prison setting, but what can you do?
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lebersole@tribune.com




