1. The born ultimators
I don’t know why we’re so excited about ultimate fighters when the Indiana Pacers have been around for years.
2. The last one’s a doozy
Lovie Smith says be patient with Rex Grossman: “We are taking steps.” Over a cliff?
3. Good luck, kid
At least Greg Olsen should make his debut. Now, ask Moose about your chances of ever seeing the ball.
4. Color me unimpressed
The San Jose Sharks unveiled a new look. So I guess they’re committed to that teal, huh?
5. They’re infectious
After watching Notre Dame this season, I’m petitioning to have their name changed from the Irish to the Eye-Rash.
6. Weis guy
Things are so bad for Charlie Weis in South Bend that he’s got them starting over training camp. Somewhere in Washington state, Ty Willingham is laughing his butt off.
7. The Juice is (not) loose!
O.J. Simpleton had the nerve to say what happens in Vegas should stay in Vegas. Don’t worry, you’ll be staying in Vegas for a while if the court system can help it.
8. I know you folks
Don’t even think of making any “Naked Gun” jokes.
9. Plastic man?
Um … ouch.
FIVE THINGS …
… O.J. is thinking.
– “What’s all the fuss?”
– “Don’t they know who I am?”
– “Does Johnnie Cochran have an heir?”
– “Can Chris Darden prosecute?”
– “Where does one get a shiv?”
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REDEYESPORTS@TRIBUNE.COM
