1. Ayo, goodbye
No word yet from 50 Cent on whether he’s going to retire, even though it looks as if Kanye West clearly has him beat. If he quits, it’d be a shame though. Think of all the crappy song titles we’d be missing out on.
2. Shocker
The weather needs to make up its mind right now. Tuesday was so sticky I was sweating like Britney’s new parenting coach. … All right, it was a bad joke. … No, wait, don’t Taser me, bro —
3. Adios
It came out Monday night that Britney’s management has parted ways with the singer. FYI: “Parted ways” is code for “jumped off the deck of the Titanic.”
4. Dressed up
Slick Rick has borrowed his jewelry from Flavor Flav this evening …
5. Juice it up
This year’s Emmys got the second-lowest ratings in the show’s history. With that in mind, next year’s show will be co-hosted by Star Jones and Rosie O’Donnell live from O.J. Simpson’s house.
6. Thinking ahead
Alabama tourism officials will use “Sweet Home Alabama” as the state’s theme song in ads. Brilliant decision, guys. It took you only 30 years to come up with that?
7. Nice try
Someone reportedly tried to sell Belgium on eBay. That’s just laughable — everyone knows Iraq is the only country up for bid.
8. Punk’d
Punk greats the Sex Pistols are planning a reunion concert. Hollywood was interested until it found out the performance involves neither sex nor pistols.
9. Ridiculousness
Meanwhile, I just read that Columbia Pictures has a comedy about artificial insemination in the works called “Baster.” At this point I’ve run out of things to say.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
