Mike North from “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) joins us Wednesdays. Sign up at redeyesports@tribune.com.
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Tracy Swartz
MikeNorth
STICK
FIGURE
TOPIC 1: IF LOVIE SMITH DOESN’T NAME BRIAN GRIESE THE STARTER WEDNESDAY, I WILL …
… not be the least bit surprised. Lovie is becoming the George W. Bush of NFL coaches.
… put money on the Lions.
… assume the Makeup Rex was excellent.
… give Grossman one half — if he sucks, then it’s Kyle Orton.
… cancel my subscription to Ladies Home Journal.
TOPIC 2: WHY ARE SO MANY BEARS GETTING INJURED?
They’re sympathy injuries to honor Mike Brown.
Notice it’s mostly defensive players. The offense doesn’t play long enough to get hurt.
They’ve learned from Northwestern how to play dead.
It’s football, guys!
If they were Gummi Bears, nothing would break. They’d stick in your teeth, though.
TOPIC 3: GO ‘MIKE GUNDY’ ON SOMEONE.
MIKE GUNDY, YOU ARE A HORSE’S ASS FOR YELLING AT THAT COLUMNIST!
Tracy, you’re a grown man, not some kid that had his heart broken! Are you kidding me?!
Stick, three-fourths of the time, you’re wrong every time.
I’ve spent 15 years as Mike Gundy’s alter ego.
Jimmy, if you had a kid, you’d understand. … Understand what?
TOPIC 4: WHAT IS THE BUDWEISER SHOOTOUT?
What Tracy does after drinking too much Budweiser.
It’s when NASCAR fans line up their empty beer cans for target practice.
What Cards fans are injecting to dull the pain of this season.
Jets against the Sharks — whoever wins gets a six-pack.
Who is Bud Weiser? And whom is he wiser than? Makes you think.
TOPIC 5: WHAT IS YOUR ‘MAGIC NUMBER’ AND WHY?
45. That’s when my doctors say I’ll reach puberty.
223. That’s the number of times Mike North has seen Siegfried & Roy.
Seven: A beautiful name for a boy or a girl. Especially a girl. … Or a boy.
Thirty years Oct. 1 with my lovely wife, Be-Be.
My magic number is, oooo … UNICORN!
