1. Open and shut
A new report says most computer viruses are spread in e-mails promising pictures of naked celebs. Funny, most human viruses are spread by naked celebs.
2. Spoken for
Bravo named a new “Top Chef” on Wednesday night. Unfortunately, on Thursday he was eaten by Mo’Nique.
3. Smashing
New reports are shooting down rumors that Lindsay Lohan has left rehab. Obviously. If that were true we would’ve seen the car wreckage by now.
4. Exposed
Melle Mel is one of two people who can make this red carpet outfit look good. The other is Janet Jackson.
5. Not you two
Seeing Brad Pitt and George Clooney at the box office again brings back such … terrifying memories of “Ocean’s 12” and “Ocean’s 13.”
6. So close
Casey Affleck says there probably won’t be an “Ocean’s 14,” which is really too bad because Matthew McConaughey was, like, three more sequels away from getting added to the cast.
7. Tainted love
More than 500,000 more Chinese-made products were recalled Thursday over lead concerns, The Associated Press reports, inviting the inevitable comparisons between China’s manufacturing record and Britney Spears’ parenting record.
8. Dark ages
Microsoft says Halo 3 made $300 million in its first week of release. Meaning millions haven’t seen sunlight for about 80 hours.
9. Going downer
HBO gave the green light for a second season of “Tell Me You Love Me.” Sure, why not? We all could use a few solid hours of depression in our lives.
———-
lebersole@tribune.com
