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TOPIC 1: WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE: A SUPER BOWL TITLE OR A WORLD SERIES TITLE?
Scott Kleinberg: Super Bowl. Statistically better chance of getting on a Wheaties box.
Phillip Thompson: Ozzie won in ’05 and is on the hot seat. Mike Ditka won in ’86 and is still king here. You tell me.
Leo Ebersole: A Nathan’s Famous hot dog-eating contest trophy.
Kyra Kyles: Why not both? I’m feeling lucky … and a little bit greedy.
Bag Boy: Don’t you dare make me choose! Getting dizzy, everything … turning … black.
TOPIC 2: QB BRETT FAVRE IS ALMOST 38 AND HAS THE PACKERS UNDEFEATED. WHAT’S HIS SECRET?
Scott Kleinberg: The 4-leaf clover he keeps in his locker.
Phillip Thompson: He’s a Cheesehead. All cheese gets better with age.
Leo Ebersole: Ginseng tea. Just kidding. It’s actually an expert training staff and multimillion-dollar facilities.
Kyra Kyles: Packers’ pixie dust and a light coating of Bengay.
Bag Boy: Question Man, I will pluck out every one of your leg hairs and make a pair of mittens.
TOPIC 3: GIVE THE BEARS A PEP TALK BEFORE THEIR NATIONALLY TELEVISED GAME SUNDAY.
Scott Kleinberg: Bears, you already stink. Try not to stink even more. Now get out there!
Phillip Thompson: Look at it this way: If you were on any other prime-time schedule, you’d be canceled by now.
Leo Ebersole: PLAYOFFS? PLAYOFFS??? PLAYOFFS!
Kyra Kyles: I’d use the phrase moms use for small kids in fancy restaurants: “Do. Not. Embarrass. Me.”
Bag Boy: If you meet Faith Hill, it helps to curl up in the fetal position BEFORE her people get to you.
TOPIC 4: THERE ARE A LOT OF CURSES IN SPORTS. DO THE BEARS HAVE A QB CURSE?
Scott Kleinberg: Yep. When Rex was told to sit, he put a spell on Lovie.
Phillip Thompson: Yes, and his name is Brett Favre.
Leo Ebersole: Objection — leading question.
Kyra Kyles: No, Rex Grossman has a QB curse, and as rumors indicate, a major case of the cooties.
Bag Boy: With the likes of Rick Mirer and Kordell Stewart, it’s more like a plague.
TOPIC 5: HOW READY ARE YOU FOR THE BULLS THIS YEAR?
Scott Kleinberg: As ready as I am to go back to work tomorrow. Not at all.
Phillip Thompson: Between Ben Wallace and Joakim Noah, I can’t decide which kind of wig to wear.
Leo Ebersole: More ready for the Wizards and Agent Zero, but to each his own.
Kyra Kyles: I will be once I get my Ben Wallace wig back from Phil, who uses it for club-hopping.
Bag Boy: Bring it on. I’m ready for the next Chicago disappointment. Thanks, Bears.
