Mike North of “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) sits in on Wednesdays. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Mike North
Bag Boy
TOPIC 1: THE BULLS PLAY ON HALLOWEEN. PICK A COSTUME FOR ONE OF THE PLAYERS.
Ben Wallace will go as Phil Thompson, but everyone will yell, “Hey, it’s Urkel!”
Joakim Noah can be a werewolf. No costume necessary.
Luol Deng and Ben Gordon can buy matching fishhooks and go as trade bait.
Ben Wallace as Shaq.
I think Tyrus Thomas should go as a ghost — because he disappears so much.
TOPIC 2: MAKE A PREDICTION ABOUT THE BULLS’ SEASON.
To counter the Blackhawks’ rising popularity, the Bulls will stop televising home games.
If the Bulls do trade for Kobe, Bag Boy will give No. 24 that many hours to get out of town.
Long suffering Kirk Hinrich makes his 1st All-Star team after changing his name to “Billups.”
East champs, baby!
I think we’ll see a tough, overachieving team go all the way — to the second round. Again.
TOPIC 3: WHAT WOULD YOU EXPECT TO FIND ON BRIAN URLACHER’S BLOG?
A blog entry written by anybody but Brian Urlacher.
He eventually refuses to speak to his own blog.
Lots of sentences ending in >:-O
What’s a blog?
A whining, underachieving player basically saying, “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
TOPIC 4: WHERE DOES A-ROD BELONG?
North Side of Chicago, between 2nd and 3rd base.
At the side of his alter EGO, Kanye West.
Let him sign with the Cubs. One good playoff disappointment deserves another.
At shortstop for the White Sox.
He belongs in a special room in hell with Scott Boras and Barry Bonds.
TOPIC 5: WHAT SCARES YOU?
The Cubs getting sold to a bunch of corporate hacks.
The terrifying likelihood of seeing three things at once: “Jimmy,” “thong” and “bikini wax.”
Leading every sentence with an “L” today without realizing it until now. … Creepy.
Nuns — it’s a longtime phobia.
Still here five years from now, griping about the same crappy teams. Wait — maybe that is hell.
