1. The warning
Ten years ago, everybody laughed when I said we should herd the Spice Girls into a capsule and blast them into space. Who’s laughing now, America? Who’s laughing now?
2. It’s science
Men’s Health magazine calls Outback Steakhouse’s Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing the “worst food in America.” Objection: Anything with “cheese” and “ranch” in it already has half the food pyramid covered.
3. Transformer
Post-divorce Kid Rock says he “definitely” wants to get his hair cut. So it’s confirmed: Somehow, without the aid of a sex change operation, Kid Rock became Britney Spears.
4. It’s stupid-proof
The national Christmas tree arrives, complete with instructions for White House installers.
5. The substitute
Russell Crowe is being courted to replace Brad Pitt in a new movie project. While Crowe may lack some of Brad’s sensitivity, he does bring a certain “Oh, my God, is he about to punch me in the face?” quality to the role.
6. Ignorance = bliss
If you haven’t been tuning in to “Dancing With the Stars” this season … stay strong. Tuesday is the finale, and then it’s off the air.
7. Working stiff
Meanwhile, with her moves, it’s amazing that Marie Osmond wasn’t cast for the “Thriller” video.
8. Getting a boost
Van Halen has added more than 20 shows to its upcoming reunion tour. The headband and glittery pants industries are ecstatic. Just thrilled.
9. Father knows worst
Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter, Dannielynn, was photographed with father Larry Birkhead wearing a “Who’s your daddy?” T-shirt. Nice choice, Larry. Next time you’re holding her, try outfitting her with an “I’m with moron” shirt.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
