Every so often, celebrities leave us scratching our heads with their antics. Once again, we call upon RedEye public relations guru and talent agent extraordinaire Tab Tanner to make sense of — uh, Tab, those bagels are for full-time staff only, buddy. Are you … putting those in your pockets?
Ahem. Anyway, here he is: Tab Tanner, the only man who can make sense of Hollywood’s strangest happen — OK, seriously? You can’t chew food with your mouth closed?
PUZZLER: Teri Hatcher’s hot lips
NEWS: The “Desperate Housewives” star is being sued by a skin-care company she endorses, Hydroderm, over her alleged promotion of a competitor’s lip plumper. The company, makers of Volumizing Lip Serum, wants back the $2.4 million it agreed to pay Hatcher. Hatcher’s lawyer called the suit a “public assault on Teri Hatcher’s good name.”
TAB’S TAKE: Who on Eawth uses wip pwumper? Thath so sad. I weave this matter to the civil juthtith sythtem.
PUZZLER: Adam Brody as The Flash
NEWS: The Los Angeles Times reported that the “O.C.” star has closed negotiations to play speedy superhero The Flash in the planned “Justice League of America” movie. Warner Bros. would not confirm whether Brody has been cast, saying the movie project isn’t definitely heading into production yet.
TAB’S TAKE: OK, so he played kind of a slacker in “The O.C.” (What ever happened to Mischa Barton, by the way? I miss-a my Marissa.) But there’s no doubt in my mind Brody can transform into The Flash. I remember predicting the same thing for George Clooney as Batman, and, as we all know, that turned out beautifully.
PUZZLER: Still cranking
NEWS: “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” remains one of the top songs on Billboard’s Hot 100 singles chart.
TAB’S TAKE: Tab likes that song. Tab gets his groove on to that song.
PUZZLER: The sexiest bikini on TV
NEWS: Pamela Anderson topped AOL TV’s list of “TV’s 50 Sexiest Women — Ever.” “Charlie’s Angels” star Farrah Fawcett came in second, and “Wonder Woman” Lynda Carter placed third.
TAB’S TAKE: Who else would you possibly pick? That’s like naming the baby Jesus “Christmas’ Top Icon — Ever.” Maybe you go with Rudolph there, but you see the point I’m trying to make. My only complaint with Pamela is that she doesn’t read my e-mails. All I’m saying is that I could’ve solved the Pam-Tommy Lee-Kid Rock crisis in 15 minutes if everyone had responded to my Evite.
