This is the winter of my discontent about the Green Bay Packers.
For the love of Bag Boy, can we get a legitimate pro football team to stop these nuisances to the North?
That certainly ain’t the Oakland Raiders, kiddos.
Once upon a team, a frosty matchup featuring those Silver and Black pirates might have sent chills down the spine of Brett Favre. (can’t you just hear John Facenda bellowing over the “Autumn wind?”) But these days Howie Long’s gelling down his hair to make himself purty for the cameras.
This is how much things have changed.
Defensive lineman Warren Sapp used to have some fearsome showdowns with Favre. When Sapp was a Buccaneer. And the Bucs were in the NFC Central division. Back when there was an NFC Central division.
As a Raider, Sapp’s renewed rivalry doesn’t even register on the NFL radar. Neither does Sapp himself.
Still, he’ll be looking to but his old nemesis on ice.
“Let’s say it like this: It don’t become 80 and sunny when Favre’s got the ball in his hand,” Sapp said. “It’s still going to be whatever temperature it is, and everybody’s got to deal with the elements. It’s just a matter of who makes the fewest mistakes.”
Yeah, good luck with that.
MATCHUP
THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW
THE LINE
FINAL SHAKE
Oakland at Green Bay, noon, CBS
Brett Favre is expected to make his 250th consecutive start despite bruising his right elbow and separating his left shoulder in Dallas last Thursday. But it’s the Raiders, so that arm would’ve been tied behind his back anyway.
Packers by 10 1/2
Pack
Dallas at Detroit, noon, FOX
Cowboys take the NFC East with a win, but they’ve already taken Broadway by storm.
Cowboys by 10 1/2
Lions
Miami at Buffalo, noon
Dan Marino says “the only way [the Dolphins] can go is up.” They’re aquatic animals, Dan, they can go under. Way under.
Bills by 7
Bills
San Diego at Tennessee, noon
Norv Turner has finally figured out he should give the ball to LaDainian Tomlinson. What. A. Genius.
Off
Off
Tampa Bay at Houston, noon
Tampa Bay can win the South with a victory. Take that, Union Army.
Bucs by 3
Bucs
St. Louis at Cincinnati, noon
The Rams have won three straight in this series. Yay, mediocrity!
Bengals by 6 1/2
Bengals
N.Y. Giants at Philadelphia, noon
The Giants can clinch a wild-card spot here. Well, we’ll just see about that! … says Eli Manning.
Eagles by 3
Giants
Carolina at Jacksonville, noon
A classic battle of jungle cats. Winner gets to gnaw on a couple of gazelles and Joe Buck.
Jaguars by 10 1/2
Jaguars
Arizona at Seattle, 3:05 p.m.
A win puts the Cards in striking distance in the division race. Big problem: Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin are banged up.
Seahawks by 7
Cardinals
Minnesota at San Francisco, 3:05 p.m.
Chester Taylor says the Vikes aren’t “stepping on our own feet” anymore. The way All Day runs, could the Niners stop him even if he did?
Vikings by 8 1/2
Vikes
Pittsburgh at New England, 3:15 p.m., CBS
“This isn’t Appalachian State against Michigan,” says Mike Tomlin. Uh, ASU won, so who’s who, Mike? Oh, and S Anthony Smith “guaranteed” victory.
Patriots by 10 1/2
Steelers
Cleveland at N.Y. Jets, 3:15 p.m.
In seven wins this season, Cleveland averages 34.1 points. Must be nice, Bears fans.
Browns by 3
Browns
Kansas City at Denver, 3:15 p.m.
Travis Henry dodged a one-year suspension. So dodging the Chiefs’ 21st-ranked rushing defense should be cake.
Broncos by 6 1/2
Chiefs
Indianapolis at Baltimore, 7:15 p.m., NBC
Coach Tony Dungy says Marvin Harrison might not be back until the playoffs. Peyton Manning responds, “Who?”
Colts by 9
Colts
New Orleans at Atlanta, 7:30 p.m., ESPN
Chris Redman starts for Atlanta. That’s how much the Falcons are distancing themselves from Joey Harrington. Saints have won 3 straight in series.
Saints by 4
Saints
