Well, now you know.
You now know — or you probably already knew if you’ve lived in this town more than two years — that Kyle Orton is not a starting quarterback. Not for us, not for anyone.
Good. Glad the curiosity is satisfied.
For me, I can’t say exactly when I knew. Maybe it’s when he couldn’t hit the three-yard out pass to Jason McKie — you know, that pass is a Chicago Bears classic.
So, off to another team with you, Kyle. I’ll always think of Christmas ’08 when I see you as the fourth stringer on another team. Perhaps arena ball could work for you — they love beards in Iowa.
Here’s another Christmas reference: The beard makes you look like Yukon Cornelius.
We’re not done. I need some other people to follow him out the door. Starting with Ron “I don’t have a clue” Turner. Look, bud, I have never ever seen an offense such as the Bears getting the ball at their own 40- or 50-yard-line every time — and doing nothing with it.
Even an average offense could kick about five field goals a game and come away with a few more wins.
Please, have the courage to be average!
We’re the king of average in Chicago. Look at the Bulls — they have absolutely the finest collection of average players I have ever seen.
Whether you have five, eight or 12 average players, you’re still average. You can’t make it up with volume.
The Bulls know it, and the Lakers know it. So forget about ever getting Kobe Bryant.
It’s a simple, sad rule in the NBA. You can’t call up a GM anymore and say, “I’ll trade you my 12 average guys for your one difference maker.”
The usual response: Click.
But hey, it’s Christmas, so let me give you a nice parting gift of good news.
Steve Stone is going to be in the White Sox radio booth for Friday home games.
This is what we call a good start. Let’s continue. By his second week, I’d like him in the booth for all home games.
By the third week, in the booth for all road games as well.
By the fourth week, I’d like him to have Kenny Williams’ job — but just on Fridays.
And by the end of the season, he’s the full-time GM.
And God bless us all.
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redeyesports@tribune.com
