1. Show me love
Christmas is a time to set everything aside and share gifts with loved ones. And if your loved ones didn’t buy you a Wii, it is a time to explore legal separation.
2. Ultimate victory
Santa was good to me this year, though. I got nice gifts, minimal stress and total shelter from all movie theaters showing “P.S. I Love You.”
3. Convenient truth
It’s not too early to hammer out those New Year’s resolutions. Sly Stallone, for example, resolves to do the environmentally responsible thing and cut down on “Rambo” sequels.
4. Thanks Santa!
The hat’s a nice touch, but I’m not sure the kids really want the presents this dolphin has to offer.
5. Help wanted
Best of luck to Jay-Z in his job search, and here’s hoping that he lands a new position soon. Imagine how hard it must be not knowing where your next Ferrari payment’s going to come from.
6. And it only took 5 years
Congratulations to the unlucky woman who was jailed for taking camera phone pictures of R. Kelly in court. Now we know it’s possible to reach at least one verdict in this trial.
7. Scream too
President Bush adviser Karl Rove signed a $1.5 million deal to write a memoir. Why all that money? Because, on the freakout scale, it’s expected to make “The Blair Witch Project” look like “Alvin and the Chipmunks.”
8. Lonelyqueen15
Meanwhile, Britain’s royal family launched a YouTube channel for Queen Elizabeth. Yes, apparently the queen’s royal duties include trading response videos with Chad Vader.
9. Last straw
Topanga from “Boy Meets World” was arrested on a drunken driving warrant in California. Well, you’ve finally done it, Hollywood. You’ve stolen my innocence.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
