The New York Giants — and their improbable star Eli Manning — continue to capture the world’s fascination. So you know what that means: It’s only a matter of time before the movie rights are sold.
RedEye gets a jump on the big studios and puts out a casting call for our own movie. We’re going for an Oscar contender, so clearly there’s one name we have to get …
ELI MANNING
– Jake Gyllenhaal
– Jason Biggs
– Haley Osment
– James Van Der Beek
– Mr. Potato Head
– Gerard Depardieu
– David Boreanaz
– Owen Wilson
– John Krasinski
– Beaker from the Muppets
The winner: The competition was tough, and Beaker really wowed the producers. But you know Hollywood. “The Office” is too hot right now, so Krasinskigets it. But maybe Beaker can do the stunts.
MICHAEL STRAHAN
Jake Gyllenhaal
Mike Tyson
Roger Cross
The winner: Cross looks like Strahan, and we can CGI the gap. He plays agent Curtis Manning on “24.” Hey, a Manning!
GISELE BUNDCHEN
Jake Gyllenhaal
Jennifer Aniston
Amanda Peet
Jennifer Garner
Angelina Jolie
The winner: Jake Gyllenhaal. Surprise!
BILL BELICHICK
– Jake Gyllenhaal
– Gene Hackman
– Anthony Hopkins
– Jon Voight
– Dennis Hopper
– Harrison Ford
The winner: Voight. Likeability was a big factor — you couldn’t have any. And even then, we had to flip a coin between Hackman and Voight
RANDY MOSS
Jake Gyllenhaal
Snoop Dogg
The winner: Snoop. Why belabor the obvious.
BRIDGET MOYNAHAN
– Bridget Moynahan
The winner: Herself
TOM BRADY
– Jake Gyllenhaal
– Ben Affleck
– Michael Vartan
The winner: We could have broadened the search but Boston celebrifan Affleck really begged us. Stop calling us, Ben.
D AVID TYREE
– Jake Gyllenhaal
– Kanye West
– Michael Epps
– Stephen A. Smith
The winner: Smith has the look — and here’s predicting he’ll be the biggest scene-stealer on film since Rod Tidwell.
PLAXICO BURRESS
– Jake Gyllenhaal
– Darius Miles
– 50 Cent
– Andre 3000
– R. Kelly
The winner: Darius Miles. He’s got “cocky” down pat.
PEYTON MANNING
Jake Gyllenhaal
Matthew Perry
Frankie Muniz
Kenneth Mitchell of “Jericho”
The winner: Mitchell. He’s a relative unknown, but he looks like a lost Manning.
