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TOPIC 1: THE BULLS END A SIX-GAME ROAD TRIP TONIGHT AT UTAH. WHAT DID THEY LEARN?
JIMMY: The Bulls are still playing? I had no idea.
PHIL: They’ll never carry that state despite their stance on fiscal reform.
LEO: They learned Joe Smith still has a spring in his step. They think it’s a mattress spring, actually.
TRACY: Their tears blend in nicely in Salt Lake City.
BRIAN: They can play equally bad on the road as they can at home.
TOPIC 2: WHAT CHICAGO ATHLETE WOULD MAKE A GOOD NASCAR DRIVER?
JIMMY: Lance Briggs.
PHIL: Tyrus Thomas. He’s never let a little thing like a defender having position stop him from driving.
LEO: Devin Hester has the speed and is good in traffic. All he’s missing is the bad haircut and the trophy wife.
TRACY: Jo Noah. He drives me wild.
BRIAN: Rex Grossman. He’s used to being beat up.
TOPIC 3: WHAT IS THE BUDWEISER SHOOTOUT?
JIMMY: It’s what happens to Tracy after she drinks too much Budweiser.
PHIL: It’s what happens in back alleys when NASCAR fans drink too much.
LEO: The Indiana Pacers’ annual team retreat.
TRACY: Air Bud: Golden Reliever.
BRIAN: Pacman Jones’ annual family reunion.
TOPIC 4: SUNDAY’S PRO BOWL IS THE LAST FOOTBALL GAME FOR A WHILE. HOW ARE YOU COPING?
JIMMY: Pitchers and catchers report in a matter of minutes. I’m doing just fine.
PHIL: It’s so cold. So, so cold …
LEO: Jimmy and his cat do a wonderful re-enactment of “When Harry Met Sally.” Stellar art direction.
TRACY: No worries. My fantasy team still lives on in my head.
BRIAN: I’m still dealing with the fact that another Manning won a Super Bowl.
TOPIC 5: THE BLACKHAWKS HAVE FALLEN INTO LAST PLACE. HOW’D THAT HAPPEN?
JIMMY: They misheard Savard and committed the Indian.
PHIL: The laws of gravity are nearly as strong as the laws of Chicago sports.
LEO: You must be new around here.
TRACY: Black Hawk Down. Luckily, Josh Hartnett can make them/me soar.
BRIAN: The fact they were actually not last at any point in time is progress.
