Spring Training games are here. So where is the spring weather? Sign up for the fun at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
TOPIC 1: WHICH OF THE NEW BULLS PLAYERS HAS IMPRESSED YOU SO FAR?
Supriya Doshi: None of them. They’re optimistic, which isn’t allowed in Chicago.
Tracy Swartz: Jo Noah has left quite an impression.
Brian Moore: Larry Hughes. He never met a shot he didn’t like — or make.
Bag Boy: C’mon. It takes more than a week to impress me. Unless it’s a woman wearing a bag.
Stick Figure: I like the guy who looks like he has a beard of bees.
TOPIC 2: THE BULLS FACE OLD PAL BEN WALLACE AT CLEVELAND ON SUNDAY. HOW WILL THAT GO?
Supriya Doshi: The Bulls will pout because Ben escaped to LeBron Land — where they know what “win” means.
Tracy Swartz: Bulls will wear black headbands as a scare tactic. Worked for Lauren Conrad.
Brian Moore: Ben Wallace will rip Drew Gooden’s beard off and use it to make a double-decker afro.
Bag Boy: The way it always goes. Big Ben will play like a superstar and make the Bulls sorry.
Stick Figure: If they are old pals, it will be great. Ice cream and root beers all around!
TOPIC 3: THE CUBS AND SOX ARE PLAYING GAMES AGAIN. HOW ARE YOU CELEBRATING?
Supriya Doshi: By putting on my sunglasses and having an Old Style on my porch — in a parka.
Tracy Swartz: No one likes a game player or a scorekeeper. Especially not a Cubs fan.
Brian Moore: Celebrating? This is Chicago. I’m already crying in my beer.
Bag Boy: I’ve got a new bag — to puke in.
Stick Figure: One word: Cracker Jack.
TOPIC 4: WHO WILL EMERGE AS THE BIG TEN BASKETBALL CHAMP THIS SEASON?
Supriya Doshi: I’ll tell you who won’t — Ohio State for once!
Tracy Swartz: In the Big Ten, no one wins. Unless you’re an SEC team.
Brian Moore: It was preordained that Indiana would win after Eric Gordon spurned Illinois.
Bag Boy: Cheaters never win, except in the Big Ten. Give it to the Indiana Loosiers.
Stick Figure: With the recent trade, I think the Bulls could make a run for it.
TOPIC 5: CARL EDWARDS DOES BACKFLIPS WHEN HE WINS IN NASCAR. WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Supriya Doshi: Do doughnuts with my car.
Tracy Swartz: I thought flips in NASCAR are discouraged, except to signal another driver.
Brian Moore: Take a shot for every time Tony Stewart punches somebody after the race.
Bag Boy: I’d do a flip all right, but I’d only need one finger.
Stick Figure: I would faint, because I don’t even know how to drive. A car that is.
