Be Happy Without Being Perfect
By Alice D. Domar, PhD, and Alice Lesch Kelly (Crown, $24.95 paper)
Psychologist Domar advises women to quit dreaming of perfection and start appreciating the goodness of their lives just as they are.
1. “Wanting to be perfect seems like a good thing.” But in reality, that mind-set creates distress, depression, low self-esteem, guilt and disappointment.
2. Unhappy with your perfectionist mind-set? Using a technique known as cognitive restructuring, you can replace thought patterns that trigger negative emotional states.
3. Remind yourself that no one is keeping track. Visitors to your home don’t notice every speck of dust. If they do notice and comment, they aren’t your friends.
4. “Perfectionism can ravage a marriage. … Imagine how he feels when you insist on having a spotless kitchen and he knows how upset you’ll be if he messes it up.”
5. “Having Martha [Stewart] in our culture raises expectations to unrealistic levels for all of us, whether we buy into it or not.”
