The Psychology of Romantic Love
Romantic Love in an Anti-Romantic Age
By Nathaniel Branden (Tarcher/Penguin, $15.95)
In this updated version of his classic study on love, psychotherapist/romantic Nathaniel Branden takes a logical look at romantic love, including how and why it happens, its history, and what it takes to keep love growing and thriving.
1. A key ingredient for a successful relationship is to accept your partner with all his shortcomings and virtues. If you don’t, you’ll eventually feel resentful and betrayed.
2. If we’re harsh and judgmental toward ourselves, we’re likely the same way with others. Work toward self-acceptance so you can listen to and be supportive of your partner.
3. Communication is the lifeblood of a relationship. Express and accept words of appreciation as well as unhappiness.
4. Although manipulative behavior may work in the short run, it tends to alienate, antagonize and create distance. Be honest and courageous when expressing yourself.
5. “Practically all of the qualities and attitudes needed for the fulfillment of romantic love require maturity.” These include the ability to nurture and to remember that the other person doesn’t exist just to satisfy our needs and wants.
