1. Nowhere to run
New York’s governor stands accused of paying for a high-priced prostitute. He has three options: Plead guilty, plead not guilty and plead that he’s a member of a secret “Pretty Woman” re-enactment group.
2. Who knew?
Gov. Eliot Spitzer allegedly set up appointments with the Emperor’s Club VIP — which, to the nation’s surprise, is a call-girl ring and not an upscale all-you-can-eat teriyaki buffet.
3. Time for change
Emperor’s Club VIP … possibly the dumbest adult-themed business name ever. Even Kentucky’s strip clubs are thinking to themselves, “Where’s y’all’s sense of class?”
4. Comfort zone
I don’t want to call myself a trendsetter, but I’ve been arguing for the pants-less suit for years.
5. Seriously now
How embarrassing for Britney Spears to be told that she’ll be paid an “allowance.” How is she supposed to wear tacky outfits and go on Cheetos runs with her dignity intact?
6. That’s commitment
Van Halen has postponed its tour for one month. They’re actually starting to make Guns N’ Roses look punctual.
7. Not true
George Clooney’s rep has denied reports that Clooney is engaged. Turns out he saw himself in a mirror and popped the question by accident.
8. Keep ’em separated
The ShoWest movie convention just kicked off in Las Vegas. If you ask me, holding any kind of movie-related gathering that close to Paris Hilton’s second home is begging for trouble.
9. Just like J.Lo
A new rumor making the rounds says Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are expecting twins. God, is there anything this couple does that isn’t trendy?
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
