1. Big flop
Illinois and Northwestern are seeded 10th and 11th in the Big Ten tourney. In other words, last and laster.
2. Feel the excitement?
Illinois and Northwestern are in — the conference tourney at least. And the Bulls and the Blackhawks are this close to the playoffs. March Madness, catch it!
3. Champ-pain
Ozzie Guillen says if he wins the World Series again, he’d be a “cocky, arrogant SOB.” By my count, he’ll be winning the World Series every two to three minutes.
4. Status quo
Ozzie, how high does your “cocky, arrogant SOB” meter go exactly? It’s on about 10 right now.
5. Then again …
If the Cubs won the World Series, can you imagine how many cocky, arrogant SOBs would be walking this city?
6. Just to clarify
Besides the ones that sit in the Wrigley Field bleachers, I mean.
7. Ron is the new Bob
Ron Artest is urging people to get their pets spayed or neutered in new ads, a la “The Price is Right’s” Bob Barker. As a dog, lemme put in my 2 cents: OUCH!
8. Volunteers?
Artest should start the spaying and neutering with the Indiana Pacers.
9. Crystal clear
Comedian Billy Crystal was allowed to play for the New York Yankees on Wednesday. What’s the big deal? The Cubs have been fielding a team of laughers for a century.
FIVE JOKESTERS …
… who should be allowed to play for Chicago teams.
– Vince Vaughn
– Bernie Mac
– George Lopez
– Bill Murray
– Kyle Orton, his time is now
———-
REDEYESPORTS@TRIBUNE.COM
