Mike North of “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) sits in on Wednesdays. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Mike North
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Tracy Swartz
Leo Ebersole
TOPIC 1: PACMAN JONES BEING INTERVIEWED BY MICHAEL IRVIN IS LIKE …
Is this for TMZ???
… Michael Irvin being interviewed by Pacman Jones.
… Jessica Simpson teaching quantum physics to George Bush.
… Eliot Spitzer interviewing David Paterson. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
… Tony Soprano being interviewed by Dick Cheney. Different eras, different eras …
TOPIC 2: IN HIS NEXT BOOK, JOSE CANSECO REPORTEDLY CLAIMS A-ROD PURSUED HIS WIFE. WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?
Because he’s A-Rod.
She’s the one who carried the steroids.
Canseco has his definition of performance enhancing, and A-Rod has his.
To keep up his streak of home runs and stealing bases.
He wanted directions to the nearest hair re-froster.
TOPIC 3: IF OKLAHOMA CITY GETS An NBA FRANCHISE, WHAT WILL THEY DO DIFFERENTLY?
Not move to New Orleans — like they did this time!
They’ll start using electricity.
In honor of their new city, the man-to-man defense becomes the man-to-sheep defense.
If they pick up Zo, I look forward to “Oh What a Beautiful Mourning” in the first half.
Upgrade the arena to a sawdust floor, though really there wasn’t much wrong with the cow dung.
TOPIC 4: LOOKS LIKE THE KNICKS ARE DONE WITH ISIAH THOMAS. IF THERE’S ONE THING THAT DID HIM IN, IT’S …
… lack of wins.
… I’d have to say it’s a tie between the constant losing and the sexual harassment. Hard to say.
… making inappropriate advances … toward Eddy Curry.
… trying to get ahead.
… not really understanding free agency, the draft or coaching strategy.
TOPIC 5: IF PENN STATE CAN START A CLASS ABOUT JOE PATERNO THIS FALL, WHAT ELSE SHOULD BE A CLASS?
A class on who Penn State’s basketball coach is!
A DePaul class about
Ray Meyer.
One school’s martial arts class could be Indiana’s Bob Knight 101.
Forget gerontology. PSU should get back to basics: Start with English.
Chris Berman and the Destruction of Pop Culture References In Sports.
