The warm weather has brightened spirits all over the city. If only it could make our panelists more bearable. Sign up for the fun at redeyechicago.com.
TOPIC 1: WHO GETS YOUR VOTE FOR BULLS MVP THIS SEASON?
Tracy Swartz: Most Valuable Prayer: R. Kelly. Can I get a witness?
Leo Ebersole: Scott Skiles, for getting out when the getting out was good.
Brian Moore: Drew Gooden, and he played in only 18 games.
Jimmy Greenfield: None of the above.
Whizzer: Ben Wallace. When his 4.8 points per game left, it was all downhill.
TOPIC 2: THE BULLS ARE OUT, SO WHO’S YOUR TEAM IN THE NBA PLAYOFFS?
Tracy Swartz: The Magic. We can do anything now that Science has invented Magic.
Leo Ebersole: The Wizards. Someone’s gotta stop Cleveland from embarrassing the league in the Finals again.
Brian Moore: Anyone but a team with a player named Kobe Bryant.
Jimmy Greenfield: Sorry, I’m out too.
Whizzer: San Antonio. Good team made up of good people. Nice to see.
TOPIC 3: DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION: NHL PLAYOFFS OR NBA PLAYOFFS?
Tracy Swartz: NHL because sudden death is an option there.
Leo Ebersole: NBA in a landslide. People, these are the best pairings since Chipotle Ranch-Zesty Taco.
Brian Moore: NBA if only because it makes sense to play basketball in April.
Jimmy Greenfield: NHL playoffs by a margin bordering on infinity.
Whizzer: If I can place a bet on it, it’s worth my time no matter how bad it is. (Cough, cough, hockey.)
TOPIC 4: WE’RE THREE WEEKS IN, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE WHITE SOX OR CUBS?
Tracy Swartz: Aaaannnd heeerrre come the pretzels …
Leo Ebersole: As I predicted, the Sox are surprising people. And the Cubs are completely unpredictable.
Brian Moore: The Cubs are mediocre as usual, Sox are surprising as usual. Last year they were surprisingly bad.
Jimmy Greenfield: Talk to me after 30 weeks.
Whizzer: I try not to think too hard about them. It hurts my head, which is already weighed down by my ears.
TOPIC 5: THE CHICAGO RUSH IS IN FIRST PLACE. WHY DIDN’T YOU KNOW THAT?
Tracy Swartz: Are there that many Limbaugh fans here? It explains all the hot air lately.
Leo Ebersole: Because a 50-yard football field with no sidelines is an abomination. There. I said it.
Brian Moore: Why didn’t you know I don’t care about the Rush?
Jimmy Greenfield: Because I have a life.
Whizzer: I knew that, but I’m too embarrassed to admit it.
