1. Woof!
How long I’ve waited to say this, Danica Patrick … VA VA VA, VROOM!
2. Help me out here
Call me a cave dog, but isn’t it funny that Patrick beats Helio Castroneves at the Indy Japan 300, and that Castroneves’ most memorable recent win was at “Dancing with the Stars”?
3. It’s all south from here
Go, Sox, go! Go, Sox, go! Hey, Chicago, whaddya … oopsies. Wrong team!
4. OK, OK
Let’s not get overly excited about the White Sox. I mean, their latest win was against Tampa Bay for crying out loud. … WE’RE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!
5. Speaking of which
Let’s not forget about Cubs fans getting ahead of themselves either. I’m sure the Wrigleyville drunk tank is already booked solid for October.
6. Hittin’ treasure
Whenever you need offense, Cubs, just dial up those Pirates, who’ve given you 13 runs in two straight games. Now that’s my idea of a booty call.
7. Say it ain’t dough, Joe
“Shoeless” Joe Jackson’s “Black Betsy” is expected to sell for $200,000 to $300,000 at auction. I think he would finally be able to afford shoes.
8. Hint, hint
Congrats on tying the knot, Eli Manning. You could enjoy more than one honeymoon if you brought that winning arm to Chicago.
9. No-brainer
Just five more days until draft day. That’s when the Bears clearly have to take a quarterunningbackle.
FIVE CHANGES …
… now that Danica Patrick has won a major auto race:
– Jeff Gordon has someone to share makeup tips with.
– Casting for the Lifetime movie? Nancy McKeon, naturally.
– Pink pace cars?
– Indy fans drink white wine (oh wait …)
– NASCAR’s next, baby!
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redeyesports@TRIBUNE.COM
