1. Ah, 1993
Heard there was an earthquake Friday morning. Slept right through it. So, officially, the last time I felt the earth move was watching “Basic Instinct.”
2. Nothing doing
Wait, does having an earthquake mean we’re becoming more like California? Because I refuse to walk any of the same streets a member of the Lohan family might be driving on.
3. Ready to rumble
That had to be a thrilling moment for people around the city, trying to figure out if they witnessed an earthquake or just ordered the wrong kind of beans on their burritos by accident.
4. Stunner
Moviegoers of all types are still reacting to “Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s” male nudity.
5. Can’t be sure
CBS’ chairman visited CBS News and reassured staffers that Katie Couric’s job is safe. That is, it’s safe unless Fox gives in to its urges and launches “Naked Nightly News.”
6. Amen
The pope left the U.S. Sunday night. I guess when the Cubs and Sox take over first place at the same time there are few other miracles this country can impress you with.
7. The family Simpson
Ashlee Simpson said “time will tell” if she’s pregnant. Admit it — you’re not 100 percent sure she knows how pregnancy tests work either, are you?
8. Pick one
Meanwhile, Drew Lachey has signed up to drive in the Toyota Pro/Celebrity Race in California. So … he’s one of the pros, right?
9. As seen on film
Jackie Chan and Jet Li have the No. 1 movie in America. Anyone who tries to take that from them is in for an ass-whooping, or at the very least a cheesy sight gag.
