1. Say what?
Ozzie Guillen was caught on camera Wednesday talking to Nick Swisher’s bat. I don’t know about you, but I call that progress.
2. False advertising
The White Sox’s Alexei Ramirez likely will miss the team’s series in Toronto because of visa issues. Hold on, I thought Visa was “everywhere you want to be.”
3. Bar none
In honor of the Wrigley candy takeover, I’m writing a new book, “Cubs fans are from Mars, Sox fans are from Venus.”
4. Axis of evil
The Cubs are in a three-way fight for first place. Four if you count the goat. I don’t like those odds.
5. I feel his pain
Umpire Jerry Crawford left the hospital Wednesday after feeling ill at the Cubs game Tuesday night. Cubs fans, we’ve all been there. For about a century now.
6. Da pick
All week, NFL draft watchers have poked fun at the Bears’ historical failure at finding a QB. It makes you wonder if this franchise would have passed over Joe Montana for Joe Mantegna.
7. Playoff kiss-off
Looks like college football will go until 2014 without a playoff system. I see my one-signature petition had no impact at all. Where’s the respect?
8. Overflowing bowls
The NCAA did, however, add two bowls: the Congressional Bowl in Washington, D.C., and the St. Petersburg Bowl in Florida. Where’s the Chicago Bowl? In December in the cold and snow. How football was meant to be played.
9. On the brakes
Some racing officials say high gas prices are keeping fans away from races. Me, I think they’re just afraid Tony Stewart will punch them.
FIVE THINGS …
… also keeping fans away from racing.
– Dizziness
– Amaxophobia
– Danica Patrick finally won
– They realized they were watching cars go in circles
– Can’t bear to see Dale Jr. and Jeff Gordon as teammates
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