1. No disrespect
No wonder Jessica Simpson thinks she’s such a great singer. Tony Romo’s “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” at Wrigley made her sound like Alicia freakin’ Keys.
2. Tough call
Who do you take in a creepy old man contest, Herbert from “Family Guy” or Hugh Hefner talking about Miley Cyrus posing for Playboy?
3. Unbelievable
OK, so apparently my jeans don’t have the right “wash,” but Sarah Jessica Parker can wear a centerpiece from Sweet Valley High prom on her head and that’s fashionable.
4. Whatever it takes
Ryan Seacrest’s (right) latest bid to boost “American Idol” ratings: Laying an egg on stage.
5. The End Times
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there will be a sequel to “Alvin and the Chipmunks” in 2010. In other news, experts have set a new date for Armageddon.
6. True life
“Ugly Betty” plans to leave L.A. and go back to filming in New York — so close to the fashion scene you’ll practically be able to see Leonardo DiCaprio asking models for their digits.
7. True scholars
I read that some university professors are asking students to write entries on Wikipedia. Encouraging news for all the “Silver Spoons” Studies majors out there.
8. Breakdown
Rough news for “Speed Racer”: It made almost $2 million less than estimated. If only the studio had thought to make people pay for Speed’s gas.
9. Nothing like that
Michael Jackson made a deal to keep Neverland Ranch. Probably for the best. Forcing him to give up his famous home would be like forcing him to alter his face. Er, wait … maybe not the best analogy.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
