1. It is prophesied
The first part of the “American Idol” finale followed by the second part of the “Dancing With the Stars” finale: like the biblical plagues, only with tackier locusts.
2. Debatable
Carrie Underwood was voted America’s favorite “Idol” winner in a recent poll. Taylor Hicks was voted “most likely to attract mating birds with his dancing.”
3. Made of money
A Wall Street eatery in New York raised the price on its deluxe hamburger to $175. Each burger is topped with black truffles, flecks of gold leaf and a 65-foot yacht.
4. Tee hee
In praising his “Indiana Jones” co-star, Harrison Ford said Shia LaBeouf “has an enormous talent.” Aaaaand we’ll be taking that out of context for a cheap laugh, thank you very much.
5. All in
Country star Kenny Chesney said he’s ready to give marriage “150 percent.” A “Triple Jude Law,” to put that number in perspective.
6. She’s got it
Meanwhile, the Brits are gaga over pictures showing Jude making out with Kimberly Stewart. Which part attracted Jude most, the “Paris Hilton’s best friend” part or the “woman who admitted she gave her old breast implants to Jack Osbourne” part?
7. Hut hut!
T.I. told MTV he was “hands-on” in the O.R. during the recent birth of his son, confirming a long-held belief of mine that delivering a child is indeed just like taking a football snap.
8. That was sudden
Jessica Alba is married — news nearly as shocking as the ability to keep a straight face while wondering how this will affect her acting career.
9. Stick around
The cable TV industry scored dismally low in a new customer satisfaction survey. The cable industry promises it will address customer concerns sometime between noon and 2028.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
