My, how things change.
One minute, we got nothing. Not even a coach.
Next minute, we’re in the catbird seat.
The Chicago Bulls. First pick, NBA draft.
Let’s not blow this, John Paxson.
Options. Michael Beasley. Hmm, not sold.
Yes, he would be a solid 20-10 guy. You know, Elton Brand was a solid 20-10 guy, and that didn’t help us out too much around here.
Also, the name is a problem.
“Beasley.”
It sounds like a dorky neighbor from a ’70s sitcom. Like, “Hey, I think Beasley took it!”
Now Derrick Rose. I like him. I like him a lot.
And not because he’s a Chicago guy, either. If you’ll recall, we tried that with Eddy Curry. Boy that worked out well. He was only the laziest player ever.
No, this guy is better. He excites. He gives you something to watch. Namely, something called “offense.”
So, I’m afraid we tell “Captain Kirk” Hinrich to hit the bricks. Sorry, but his lame shooting and so-so defense are a problem. I say we package him and one of our 18 other average players for some sort of a low-post threat.
I wouldn’t know a low-post threat if I saw one, but they pay scouts for that.
I don’t think we’ll be trading this pick, but if we do, I’ll want someone’s franchise, because this is our franchise.
Oh, and you know the Bulls didn’t plan to win this thing. They sent the marketing guy. What, the guys who shoot the T-shirts out of cannons were too busy?
By the way, take that, Mike D’Antoni. Rose could have been your new Steve Nash. We could have been the new Suns. Now coaching candidates are actually calling Paxson back.
I tell you it’s time to start buying Bulls stuff again. Luckily, I kept my junk from the Jordan years. Yes, I have the road shorts. I’m wearing them to bed tonight.
And that’s all I’m wearing.
All I know is hoops can be fun around here again.
Speaking of fun, I’m really creeped out by our good baseball teams.
The Sox win big on the West Coast; the Cubs keep rolling, except in Houston.
For the Sox, dump Juan Uribe for Alexei Ramirez. Problems solved.
For the Cubs, you know, just keep it up. And play the Pirates as much as you can.
