In an ideal world, every romantic fling would begin with a candlelit dinner, roses and a phone call the next day. Get real. Most flings are all about booze, a little grinding on the dance floor, making out in public and then waking up in an unfamiliar bed with your contact lenses stuck to your eyeballs. Take heart — you’re not alone. These bars can provide the perfect scene for the start of a juicy summer fling.
Liar’s Club
1665 W. Fullerton Ave. 773-665-1110
Who needs honesty in a relationship when you can have more fun at The Liar’s Club? Head to the small dance floor in the back of this dark, slightly divey bar. If your bumping and grinding gets a little too hot to handle, go slightly horizontal in one of the booths along the perimeter.
Seal the deal: Take your date out on a Monday night and ply him or her with a couple of $1 PBR drafts.
Frank’s
2503 N. Clark St. 773-549-2700
One of the few Lincoln Park bars with a 4 a.m. liquor license, Frank’s is an obvious choice if your date is going well into the wee hours. After 2 a.m. on weekends, the small space bursts at the seams with loud, potentially over-served twentysomethings. With all the commotion, who’s going to notice you locking lips in the corner?
Seal the deal: Try the signature Old Blue Eyes Martini, made with SKYY melon vodka and Blue Curacao, garnished with a lemon ($9).
Moe’s Cantina
3518 N. Clark St. 773-248-0002
While the U-shaped booths are a step up from the main floor, these prime seats offer a cozy little nook for stealing a kiss or two, unbeknownst to the tequila-drinking partiers below. Moe’s proximity to Wrigley makes it a prime place for a Cubs game post-party for two.
Seal the deal: Spring for a pitcher of white sangria ($20), so refreshing you won’t know what hit ya.
The Underground
56 W. Illinois St. 312-644-7600
The ’80s were known for acid-washed jeans and new wave music — and public makeout sessions that didn’t raise eyebrows. Relive it all at Rewind Thursdays. The Underground’s low-slung bench seats are perfect for going at it while Flock of Seagulls blares overhead.
Seal the deal: Try the Captain Cucumon, with Ketel One Citroen, cucumber, sugar and lemon wedges ($12). The menu says it will “tickle the tongue” — a nice warm-up for the tongue tangling to come.
Uncle Fatty’s Rum Resort
2833 N. Sheffield Ave. 773-477-3661
There’s so much make-out potential here, it’s amazing anyone comes up for air. Curl up under a beach umbrella, sidle into a secluded cabana or recline on a couch in the mosquito net-draped “oasis.” Who needs Temptation Island when you’ve got the Rum Resort?
Seal the deal: Go for the motion of the Ocean Potion, a sloshy mix of coconut rum and fruit juices in a fishbowl, served with Swedish fish and several straws for sharing ($12 for 22 ounces).
The Hangge-Uppe
14 W. Elm St. 312-337-0561
There’s a definite upside to the crowd of sauced-up partiers grooving to ’60s, ’70s and ’80s tunes and packs of bachelorettes screaming “Woo!” at this Near North bar: Not a soul will care if you and Mr. or Ms. Right Now get it on right there on the dance floor.
Seal the deal: Toss back a few test-tube shots ($2 each), and let the chemical reactions begin.
The Zebra Lounge
1220 N. State Pkwy. 312-642-5140
If walls could talk, they’d have plenty of salacious stories about the canoodling that’s gone on in this kitschy piano bar, open since the ’30s. Try to score one of the few coveted black leather booths.
Seal the deal: This cocktail lounge is all about the classics, so go old-school with a Manhattan made with premium Maker’s Mark ($9.50).
Hydrate
3458 N. Halsted St. 773-975-9244
If you and your date are still getting along famously late into the night, you might want to do the mating dance at this Boystown club. There aren’t a lot of seats — all the more reason to get that heart rate up before you head home together.
Seal the deal: Mondays are $1 drink nights — all house-brand cocktails are just a buck, so bring your Washingtons.
– – –
Caught in the act
They’re small. They’re private. And you walk away with a souvenir! Duck into a photo booth at these spots for a quickie make-out session — plus a memento of the occasion.
Rainbo Club
1150 N. Damen Ave. 773-489-5999
Holiday Club
4000 N. Sheridan Rd. 773-348-9600
Double Door
1572 N. Milwaukee Ave. 773-489-3160
Evil Olive
1551 W. Division St. 773-235-9100
Schubas Tavern
3159 N. Southport Ave. 773-525-2508
Sheffield’s
3258 N. Sheffield Ave. 773-281-4989
– Emily Hiser Lobdell
———-
metromix@tribune.com
