The Cubs and White Sox are looking for talent on the market. Hey, our pal Mike North is available. Join North and his Five on Five buddies at redeyechicago.com/facebookfives.
Tracy Swartz
Mike North
Phillip Thompson
Jimmy Greenfield
Leo Ebersole
TOPIC 1: DO THE WHITE SOX NEED TO MAKE A TRADE? IF SO, WHOm should they trade?
The Sox blow-up doll for Jessica Simpson. Chicago needs the extra hot air.
Konerko. … Let Kenny Williams figure it out. He’s on a roll.
I know it’ll never happen, but Josh Hamilton on the Rangers just seems like a waste.
Trade Juan Uribe to the Dollar Store for 50 cents worth of merchandise.
They need a center-fielder, one whose name rhymes with “Len Jiffy … Dunior.”
TOPIC 2: KOSUKE FUKUDOME HAS SLIPPED IN ALL-STAR VOTING. CAMPAIGN FOR HIM.
New slogan: “Fuku-do-me the honor of voting for me. Do (it). Do (it).”
Can’t. He’s not even the best right fielder in Chicago!
Vote for Fukudome like his name was Jim Thome.
That’s OK, I want him to stay home and rest. He doesn’t deserve to go anyway.
C’mon, the man’s presence has spawned more culturally insensitive material than Carlos Mencia.
TOPIC 3: if THE HALL didn’t take barry bonds’ 756th hr ball, WHAT could have MARc ECKO done WITH IT?
Soak it in steroids then wait for the ball and his profits to grow.
Write “stupid” on it with an arrow pointed at him.
Put it on the free-agent market to see if it gets signed by a team before Barry does.
Throw it in the toilet where it belongs.
He’ll find a spot for it in his
“Legends of cycling and
horse racing” collection.
TOPIC 4: DEREK JETER SAYS HE MAKES NATIONAL NEWS JUST WALKING WITH SOMEONE. MAKE UP A RUMOR.
When he dated Alyssa Milano, he kept asking, “Who’s the Boss?”
I was walking down the street in the city with Derek Jeter.
He’s pregnant … with twins!
I only deal with truth, which is why I’m so pleased Mike North is the new morning man at WGCI.
Derek Jeter is totally hooking up with a gyro he bought in Times Square. TOPIC 5: THERE’S BUZZ ABOUT A-ROD AND MADONNA. HOW CAN YOU TELL IF THEY’RE HAVING AN AFFAIR?
When they release the single “Forbidden Glove.”
The way they are walking!
Check A-Rod’s iPod.
Kind of the same way you can tell if they’re lying: Only it’s their hips that are moving.
Oh, please, when’s the last time A-Rod performed with the national spotlight on him?
