Unlike 4th of July fireworks, our panelists are usually a bunch of duds. Can you do it better? Join in at redeyechicago.com/facebookfives.
TOPIC 1: PREPARE CUB JIM EDMONDS FOR HIS TRIP TO FACE THE CARDINALS IN ST. LOUIS.
Tracy Swartz: Visit Springfield! If the governor sees Cubs stopping there, he might too.
Leo Ebersole: Break a leg, Jim! No, no, wait — I take it back! I take it back!
Supriya Doshi: If your old friends don’t play nice, it’s because they’re jealous.
Brian Moore: Don’t feel bad about beating your old pals. You did it to us over and over.
Scott Kleinberg: I recommend I-55 into the city. It’s the best way.
TOPIC 2: CHICAGO HAS A TEAM IN THE PLAYOFFS THIS WEEKEND. HOW’D THAT HAPPEN?
Tracy Swartz: Not really a team sport, though hot dog eating does inspire people to roll together.
Leo Ebersole: The Rush are really good. Honestly, if I had any appetite for Arena ball, I’d be a fan.
Supriya Doshi: If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to see it … I guess that’s how.
Brian Moore: I wouldn’t expect anything less from a team owned by Mike Ditka.
Scott Kleinberg: This is Chicago’s year. … We’ve got some serious talent, minus the Bulls, of course.
TOPIC 3: GIVE THE RUSH THE CREDIT THEY DESERVE FOR ANOTHER GREAT SEASON.
Tracy Swartz: No street cred for arena football. Pee-wee football, maybe.
Leo Ebersole: Not many teams can say they have a standout linebacker who scored 6 TDs on offense.
Supriya Doshi: Seven straight years in the playoffs? Maybe you could give Chicago’s other teams a pep talk.
Brian Moore: Congrats on being the most consistently successful and consistently ignored team in the city.
Scott Kleinberg: Ummmm, yay, Rush?
TOPIC 4: IF YOU’RE HAVING A WIMBLEDON VIEWING PARTY, WHAT’S A MUST-HAVE?
Tracy Swartz: Flavored teas. Though Nadal is my flavorite tease.
Leo Ebersole: It wouldn’t be a proper party without tea, crumpets and compromising photos of the royal family.
Supriya Doshi: Another TV with something more interesting on.
Brian Moore: Liquor. Lots and lots of liquor. Actually, start drinking before the matches start.
Scott Kleinberg: Someone in the bathroom repeating in a British accent “30-love.”
TOPIC 5: WHAT MAKES A NASCAR NIGHT RACE SO SPECIAL?
Tracy Swartz: Trying to conceive a lil’ Dale! (Good things come in #3s.)
Leo Ebersole: It happens a lot closer to when you actually would fall asleep.
Supriya Doshi: Drinking at night is a lot more classy. Break out the Miller High Life!
Brian Moore: Prerace happy hour!
Scott Kleinberg: The lights, the smell of the tires. … It’s like Christmas Eve — only better.
